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6/9/2006 What the future looks like from here....Okay, I have taken it upon myself to think about how my life is going to change when Brock gets home, and what the ups and downs of this deployment have been, and also what I have learned and how it has changed me. So here goes, humor me if it doesn't make perfect sense it's my life and how I see things...
My life is going to change alot, Brock will soon be home and I will have to relinquish my hogging the bed all to myself. I wish that was all that was going to change, but it's not. Soon I will be seeing alot of the mad I married almost 4 years ago. I will be attempting to hand over alot of control back to him, not only dealing with finances, but with parenting and lots of other things that I have had to be the main decision maker for the past year and a half. Another thing that will change is money, Brock is an over-the-road truck owner/operator and his truck makes around twice the amount we are making now, but that doesn't mean that I'll get to spend it, we have to save, save, save. Not only for the truck, but for other expenses such as health insurance, truck equipment, taxes, a new house, and vacations we are wanting to go on as a family.
I know that we are going to have our moments with our marriage and adjusting to him returning from a war zone. We are expecting to have disagreements and for it to be difficult for all of us, our poor kids will not only have me breathing down their necks to be good, but now their dad that has been gone for far too long to have too much patience with them will be added into the mix. I only hope that it will be as smooth as possible.
I am so greatful for all that has happened the past 18 months, I have learned alot, mainly that if I had to do it without him I could, but that in no way would I ever choose to be a single mom. I have also learned that I love my husband more than I ever knew was possible. He has been so awesome about everything and we both have matured alot more than I expected. I have also learned that the military way of life isn't for us, It is so hard for him to be away and he just isn't all that into staying in, he has a hard time running and passing PT and he has a hard time with some of the way they run things. I have learned alot about my husband that I know I wouldn't have learned any other way. I have learned that he loves his country and willing to fulfill his duties. He may not have enjoyed, but he did it and I am so proud of him.
This has changed me, I have experienced things that I know I never would have, I have become good friends with my mother in law, I have learned to love her so much, and I have learned that family can always be depended on, when help is needed, and our families are very loving, forgiving and supportive, I have learned to love my dad probably more than I ever thought possible, more than once he has said things to others and to myself, and I have learned through that what kind of man he really is, He supported me and helped with my kids, he has tried extra hard with his patience with my kids and helped more than he had to, and I am so greatful for his love and support, and Priesthood Blessings he gave Brock and I whenever we asked for them. My mom has been very helpful and supportive, she has watched my kids during the day so I could get my house clean, go to the dr. or the dentist or the hair salon. And she has been a great support and my thanks to my parents and my brothers and sisters wil probably never equal to how much help they have given us. Brock's family has also been AWESOME They have helped so much more than they probably ever will know, I have learned to love them as if they were my own family, and have learned that they are willing to do alot of things for me, above and beyond what they have been asked.
Our families are really in truth jumping up and down because his coming home, means that they no longer are going to be expecte to help with our kids. I hope they know how much Brock and I love and appreciate them all.
I also have learned that there are some ladies, that have saved me from some of my darkest hours, by giving advice, challenges, and love and support. I am so proud to have gotten to know all the ladies of 222 YAHOO GROUP (even if I have only met a few in person) They have been so helpful and I love and appreciate all of them.
Now I would like to say that I have been having a bad day, my mom and I talked earlier today, and she told me my grandpa, her dad, was diagnosed with prostate cancer yesterday. I am upset to say the least and hope that the specialists and oncologists will know more and will have some good news.
I have good news, so I hope all of you have actually read all of this or you'll miss out... Brock is safe and sound in KUWAIT!! He will leave for the U.S. on the 13th and should be in Camp Shelby for 5 days after they get there, and then its' SWEET HOME UTAH!!! I am so excited!! Thanks for bearing with me, and reading all this. I am off to bed, finally!!!
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